When my daughter was about four years old, she still had a hard time grasping the concept of marriage. So, I got out our wedding album, thinking visual images would help, and explained the entire service to her.

Once finished, I asked if she had any questions, and she replied, “Oh. I see. Is that when Mommy came to work for us, Daddy?”

Source.

Why do ducks have flat feet?

For stamping out forest fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?

For stamping out flaming ducks.
Why do giraffes have long necks?

For spitting on burning elephants.
Source.

———

How are an elephant and a banana just alike?

They are both yellow . . . . uh . . . . Except for the elephant, of course.

What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants coming over the hill?

Look! A herd of elephants coming over the hill!

What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants wearing sunglasses coming over the hill?

Nothing. He didn’t recognize them.

What did Jane say when she saw a herd of elephants coming over the hill?

Look! A bunch of bananas coming over the hill! (Jane was color-blind.)

Source.

Funny how stories change.

So, after a week of bad press, the Maori Party has had enough of Hone Harawira, and want him out. This seems a little disproportionate – Hone is a loose cannon and a dick, but his recent behaviour doesn’t seem to justify eviction from the party. So what else is going on? Turia’s statement is revealing:

This is not just about a jaunt to Paris or bad language. It’s been an ongoing issue and it’s reached its end, very sadly

(Emphasis added)My guess is that Hone has been calling bullshit on the Maori Party’s increasingly subservient relationship with National and its support for policies which directly harm his constituents. And the leadership – which does very well out of that relationship, thankyou, with crown limos and a flag and a sense of utu – doesn’t want to put up with him rocking the boat anymore. In a sense, he’s being sacrificed to preserve Turia’s relationship with John Key.

(Bold Italics is mine)

But just the other day…

And that’s the problem in a nutshell: we pay for public service, we get self-interest. If Harawira was an employee, he would unquestionably be sacked for this. But he’s not an employee, he’s a politician – and so we have to put up with him until 2011, and the only hope we have of getting rid of him is that the voters of Northland will tire of these sorts of abuses of the public trust.

So on the 5th of November, his behaviour was so bad he’d be sacked if he were an employee.

But today, after using a racist tirade to “defend” himself, it’s ok. Not only that, but any attempt to get rid of him is pandering to coalition partners.

Thing is, respect from the general public is essential for the Maori party to stay part of the Government. They need to be part of the goverment to get their agenda progressing – something they’ve done pretty well with under their partnership with National (far better than their “last cab off the rank” relationship with Labour!).

You can’t retain public respect if a member of your caucus is going around stiring up racial hatred.  Even worse if he’s doing it while defending skipping out on his duties as an MP.

But of course, all that has nothing to do with it -  Turia just wants to rid in a limo again.

Stuff’s film reviewer is not impressed.

Caro has elected to strip the story back to a basic love triangle. Sobran (Jeremie Renier) is married to the volatile Celeste (Keisha Castle-Hughes), but as his ambition to be a great winemaker comes closer to fruition, he finds himself drawn to the beautiful and enigmatic Baroness Aurora (Vera Farmiga).

As an aside, Sobran enjoys a decade-long friendship with an angel – Xas (Gaspard Ulliel) – who drops in to inquire after his health and share a bottle of Chateau de Seraphim. And … that’s it.

Readers of the book will be wondering why Caro has left out, well, pretty much everything. The book’s themes, its ideas, its ambitions, its madnesses, murders, and eroticism, not to mention half its plot, have all been chucked in the “too difficult” basket and left out.

And what is left over is not only nonsensical, it is bloody tedious.

I don’t know much about the book and what I do know hasn’t made me want to read it*, but even I know that the angel is pretty key to the story.

Never mind, it’s not like I was going to see it.

MMP stops the Revolution

Dimpost sort of likes the National Government

1. We didn’t get ’shock doctrined’. Our last two right-wing governments (National in ‘91, Labour in ‘84) used economic crisis as pretexts to introduce radical reforms that they didn’t campaign on and had no mandate for. It wouldn’t have been that difficult for Key and his party to repeat history  and restart the revolution, given the apprehension over the global financial crisis and the general mood of the nation this time last year – but they didn’t. Obviously I don’t agree with everything the Nats have done but they have shown a degree of prudence and responsibility that we haven’t seen from previous right-wing governments.

Actually, some people would say that the cuts National implemented in 1991 were a very prudent and responsible reaction to the massive budget crisis we had back then. This is especially so given Labour’s refusal to reverse the cuts that were made at that time, though they did eventually reverse things via back doors once the economy really started to hum.

Even then, pissing off large chunks of the electorate like National did back then is hardly a strategy any government wants to repeat – it was an act of sheer necessity.

Idiot/Savant thinks that National showed restraint this time too, and that this is due to MMP.

We have MMP to thank for this. Under a fair electoral system, any repeat of the strategy of deceit seen in 1984 and 1991 would result in a one-term government, and a lengthy spell in opposition. They’d be out on their arses quicker than you could say “unmodified Sainte-Laguë formula”. Which is perhaps one of the reasons why National’s right are so keen to ditch it…

I doubt it. I think it has a lot more to do with the underlying strength of the economy, the fact that Labour was actually quite fiscally responsible up to Cullen’s last “I’ve strangled their fox” budget, and the fact that Labour managed to slip in snark about the 1990s into pretty much every comment for over 7 years.

Then there’s the fact that the 1993 election came within a whisker of being a Labour victory. Oh, and wasn’t the 1999 election a MMP election anyway? The one that bought Winston into power for the first time?

So MMP would get rid of governments – except it didn’t, while FPP wouldn’t – except it almost did.

And we got Winston.

MMP didn’t stop the Revolution, because the Revolution was always and only in the collective imaginations of the left.

Yesterday at Kiwiblog DPF noted that Independents are veering towards the Republican party.

This is unusual – Gallup has the Republicans in the lead in their generic congressional ballot. For the first time, more people say Republican 48% to Democrat 44%.

Why? The Independents. They are now splitting 52% Republican to 30% Democrat. This is what happens when you veer towards your base, and not the centre.

…Significantly more people do identify as Democrats. So again this makes a lead in the generic congressional ballot quite significant.

But then I recalled something I saw the other day.

So while most people might identify with the Democratic party, only 20% identify with liberalism. That’s why presidential campaigns go to great lengths to avoid being labeled with the term – even Kerry, by most measures even more liberal than the late Ted Kennedy, avoided the term when he ran in 2004.

What becomes interesting is when you take the two facts together – how can the Democratic party have the most voters when conservatives have such a long term advantage?

Answer: Demonise the Republicans.

Which explains a lot about how Democrats and the left in general behave. It explains why people are prepared to heap so much hatred on Limbaugh and Beck, why so much was covered up on Obama’s background while Palin’s was stripped bare down to the last detail.

Because if the public get the idea that the Democrats are not “moderate” and the Republicans might be, it’s all over for the left in the good ole USA.

During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news.

“There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.”

Visibly shaken, Hillary stared at the woman’s lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller’s gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question.

“Will I be acquitted?”

Source.

Hm, just thought I’d load up some more daily jokes and realised they’d run out yesterday.

So here’s some more.

———-

A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, “I’m
here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.”

“That’s quite a coincidence,” said the engineer. “I’m here because my house and
all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything.”

The lawyer looked somewhat confused. “How do you start a flood?”” he asked.

———-

Stuff to remember while on the Internet

1. “I won’t get bad luck, lose my friends, lose my mailing lists, hear any music or see a cool pop up screen if I don’t forward this.

2. Bill Gates is NOT going to send me money, Victoria’s Secret doesn’t know anything about a gift certificate they’re supposed to send me and Ford will not give me a 50% percent discount even if HAVE forwarded my e-mail to more than 50 people.

3. I will NEVER receive gift certificates, coupons or freebies from Coke-a-Cola, Cracker Barrel, or Old Navy if I send this to 10 people who don’t know who the devil I am anyway.

4. I will NEVER see a pop up window if I forward this. NEVER!!!!

5. My phone will not MYSTERIOUSLY ring after I forward this.

6. There is NO SUCH THING as an Email tracker, and I am not STUPID enough to think that someone will send me $100 for forwarding this to 10 or more people.

7. There is no kid with cancer through the Make-A-Wish program in England collecting anything. He did when he was 7 years old. He is now cancer free and 35 years old and doesn’t want any more postcards, calling cards or get-well cards! (His garbage pick-up fees are through the roof from sacks of mail.)

8. The government does not have a bill in congress called 901B (or whatever they named it this week) that if passed will enable them to charge us 5 cents for every sent e-mail.

9. There will be NO cool dancing, singing, waving, colorful flower, character, or program I will receive immediately after I forward this.

10. People are just trying to talk me into doing it to make me look like a fool.

11. The American Red Cross will not donate 50 cents to a certain individual dying of some never-heard-of-before disease for every email address I send this to. The American Red Cross RECEIVES donations, they don’t donate!

12. And finally, I WILL NOT let others guilt me into sending things on to my friends for fear they will think I am not their friend or by telling me I have no conscience or don’t believe in Jesus Christ.

If God wants to send me a message, I believe the bushes in my yard will burn before He picks up a PC to pass it along. Even if it does come by e-mail, HE will send me one at which point I’m SURE I will know it will be from HIM. AND if He does, I’m sure He will care enough to delete all those annoying forward’s in it!

Source.

1. “I won’t get bad luck, lose my friends, lose my mailing lists, hear any music or see a cool pop up screen if I don’t forward this.

2. Bill Gates is NOT going to send me money, Victoria’s Secret doesn’t know anything about a gift certificate they’re supposed to send me and Ford will not give me a 50% percent discount even if HAVE forwarded my e-mail to more than 50 people.

3. I will NEVER receive gift certificates, coupons or freebies from Coke-a-Cola, Cracker Barrel, or Old Navy if I send this to 10 people who don’t know who the devil I am anyway.

4. I will NEVER see a pop up window if I forward this. NEVER!!!!

5. My phone will not MYSTERIOUSLY ring after I forward this.

6. There is NO SUCH THING as an Email tracker, and I am not STUPID enough to think that someone will send me $100 for forwarding this to 10 or more people.

7. There is no kid with cancer through the Make-A-Wish program in England collecting anything. He did when he was 7 years old. He is now cancer free and 35 years old and doesn’t want any more postcards, calling cards or get-well cards! (His garbage pick-up fees are through the roof from sacks of mail.)

8. The government does not have a bill in congress called 901B (or whatever they named it this week) that if passed will enable them to charge us 5 cents for every sent e-mail.

9. There will be NO cool dancing, singing, waving, colorful flower, character, or program I will receive immediately after I forward this.

10. People are just trying to talk me into doing it to make me look like a fool.

11. The American Red Cross will not donate 50 cents to a certain individual dying of some never-heard-of-before disease for every email address I send this to. The American Red Cross RECEIVES donations, they don’t donate!

12. And finally, I WILL NOT let others guilt me into sending things on to my friends for fear they will think I am not their friend or by telling me I have no conscience or don’t believe in Jesus Christ.

If God wants to send me a message, I believe the bushes in my yard will burn before He picks up a PC to pass it along. Even if it does come by e-mail, HE will send me one at which point I’m SURE I will know it will be from HIM. AND if He does, I’m sure He will care enough to delete all those annoying forward’s in it!

Heh, it seems that so many conservative books are dominating the top of the Best Seller lists in the USA, that some liberals want them in their own list.

“Should The New York Times create a separate bestseller list for conservative blockbusters?” the post said. “Think of the history: we have a children’s bestseller list because of “Harry Potter” — Harry was knocking adult books off the top spots on the hardcover fiction list so publishers complained. The same thing must be true for Beck, Palin, Cheney, Bush (George W. and Laura), Malkin and others. What do you think?”

HuffPo isn’t the only liberal source bothered by right-wing literary success. Pundits like MSNBC’s Chris Matthews have openly expressed aggravation over conservatives dominating the list. However, the Huffington Post novel solution of “if you can’t beat them, put them on their own list,” seems to be a sign the left has given up on its own ability to sell hardcover non-fiction.

What’s more, conservatives are selling books without the usual push best selling authors get from other media. A recent study by the Media Research Center’s Culture & Media Institute found that most of the conservative books that appeared on the list often went unnoticed or unmentioned by the networks, while liberal authors and books enjoyed plenty of coverage.

In other words, even with help they’re getting their backsides kicked.

A few readers might have heard of Aria McDonald. Hamish posted yesterday…

Well Aria is home again on antibiotics. She seems a little happier and brighter but is not particularly better. In fact her liver number continue to get worse bit by bit. After being stable for such a long time it seems like they are almost in free fall. While this is hard to hear, it is even harder to hear because today we received indications that the ministry would not be able to decide on Aria’s funding for another two to three weeks.

These two pieces of news, Aria’s deterioration and another delay in funding has hit us pretty hard. With the way Aria is declining it is increasingly urgent we get to Omaha to get a chance for Aria to have a transplant. The longer we leave it the higher the risk of things packing in before they can be replaced.

Today, Anita posted…

… I spent most of the evening crying and feeling pretty sick.  It has been a long time since I have felt that awful.  Two times spring to mind, Aria’s diagnosis on the 16th of June and the day we got the news of her small kidneys.

The elders  and pastors are coming over to pray for Aria at 7.15 pm today. Please, if you find the time could you pause and also do the same.

We are still planing to leave on the 1st of December.  It might come down to the wire but we will not give up.  We will do anything to fight for our girls life and for every breath until God takes her.

We have been reassured the MoH knows of Aria’s declining health and the urgency of the situation.  We are going to most likely contact our local MP to see if he can help.  Of course I really wish we lived in the Bay of Plenty who have the Health Minister Tony Ryall for their local MP!  We are not contacting the media at this stage cause that is the last thing we want to do

Do what we say or the child gets it?

Sick.

Hat Tip Ian Wishart.

 

Well, for the second year running I’ve managed to start my mo too early for Movember.

What happens is this:

1. I forget to shave for several days

2. Decide that I’d rather just shave the sides (which look untidy) a couple of times

3. Wife then declares that she likes the result and refuses to let me shave it off.

Thus, I have to go through November with people constantly asking if I’ve grown it for Movember, even though I haven’t.

If you want to support this worthy cause, you’ll have to look up Whale Oil.

President Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar.

A guy walks in and asks the barman, “Isn’t that Bush and Powell sitting over there?”

The barman says, “Yep, that’s them.”

So the guy walks over and says, “Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?”

Bush says, “We’re planning WW III.”

And the guy says, “Really? What’s going to happen?”

Bush says, “Well, we’re going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one beautiful blonde.”

The guy exclaimed, “A beautiful blonde? Why kill a beautiful blonde?”

Bush turns to Powell and says, “See, I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!”

Source.

A guy walks into the doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I haven’t had a bowel movement in a week!” The doctor gives him a prescription for a mild laxative and tells him, “If it doesn’t work, let me know.”

A week later the guy is back: “Doc, still no movement!”

The doctor says, “Hmm, guess you need something stronger,” and prescribes a powerful laxative.

Still another week later the poor guy is back: “Doc, STILL nothing!”

The doctor, worried, says, “We’d better get some more information about you to try to figure out what’s going on. What do you do for a living?”

“I’m a musician.”

The doctor looks up and says, “Well, that’s it! Here’s $10.00. Go get something to eat!

Source.

Now, in case you think Moveon.org is some fringe organisation, here’s a video of a “Virtual Town Hall” they hosted during the election.

Hillary Clinton’s opening during MoveOn.org Political Action’s unprecedented Virtual Town Hall meeting on Iraq — where seven presidential candidates answered questions from MoveOn’s 3.2 million me…

One assumes that only canditates from the left participated in a debate that was also sponsored by a union that has been recently implicated in several beating incidents.

Over at Open Parachute, there’s a video making the case for evolution. I suppose it’d be a good opening salvo, but it didn’t address a lot of creation objections and thus didn’t convince me – a fact that I relayed in comments.

One reason (among many) is the “it can’t be designed, it has flaws” argument.Thing is, I was trying to take notes throughout the presentation, but my pen refused to write correctly.

But as simple as a pen is, you’re never going to convince anyone it isn’t designed and happened via natural forces. The fact that it had a flaw merely meant that it had worn out – as things do. For a guy who says he taught a creation vs. evolution course, he had a very poor understanding of creationism.

I would recommend that people watching the video watch it right to the end. Christians will understand what I mean when they see it.

Joris De Bres

Karl du Fresne posted the other day, pointing out the mischief that the Race Relations Commissioner was up to.

Ostensibly, the certificates recognised the “dignity” with which the girls behaved during their confrontation with Mr Laws. This seemed a contrived justification for a blatant political stunt.

Not content with wading in to the row uninvited (or so we must assume) and in a highly partisan fashion, Mr de Bres seemed to go out of his way to antagonise Mr Laws, commending the girls for putting up with “rubbish” from the mayor.

The commissioner’s behaviour doesn’t exactly square with the stated objectives of the Human Rights Commission of which he is a member, which include the encouragement of “harmonious relations between individuals and among the diverse groups in New Zealand”. Here he is winding things up when his job is to keep things calm.

Mr de Bres, a Labour appointee and former Public Service Association official with impeccably PC credentials, seems trapped in some sort of time warp. He needs to be reminded that the previous government, which might have smiled indulgently on his antics, was tossed out by a public tired of suffocating political correctness and official busybodies.

I think Karl misses the worst point about the affair – that the schoolgirls were actually the complete opposite of “dignified”.

But today de Bres says he’s not going to investigate the disgusting and virulently racist email written by Hone Harawira.

I’m sure many Liberterian people would agree that the email comes under freedom of speech, but I would join them in pointing out that the Comissioner has no trouble commenting on a great many items where far more subtle messages are conveyed by other means.

Harawira’s email is probably the most racially divisive action in recent years by a public figure. The fact that de Bres only seems to be interested in excusing it means that he has vitally undermined his office in a way that will never be recovered until the day he resigns.

A Scotsman visited London for his annual holiday and stayed at a large hotel. However, he didn’t feel that the natives were friendly.

“At 4 o’clock every morning,” he told a friend, “they hammered on my bedroom door, one the walls, even on the floor and ceiling. Heck, sometimes they hammered so loud I could hardly hear myself playing the bagpipes.”

Source.