There was this guy and he had a girlfriend called Lorraine
who was very pretty and he liked her a lot. One day he went
to work to find a new girl had started. Her name was Claire Lee
and she was absolutely gorgeous.
He became quite besotted with her and after a while it became
obvious that she was interested in him too. But this guy was a
loyal man and he wouldn’t do anything with Claire Lee while he was
still going out with Lorraine.
He decided that there was nothing for it but to break up with her
and go out with the new girl. He planned several times to tell
Lorraine but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
One day they went for a walk along the river bank when Lorraine
slipped and fell into the river. The current carried her off and she
drowned. The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then ran
off smiling and singing…….
“I can see Claire Lee now Lorraine has gone”.
Oh, cry me a river!
By: ZenTiger on July 6, 2009
at 9:30 am
Sensational. these are the best kind of jokes.
As a young boy, Joe was completely obsessed with tractors. He had pictures of tractors all over his bedroom walls; he had tractor toys, tractor T-shirts, a tractor carpet, and duvet cover, the whole works. He ate, drank and slept tractors. On his 17th birthday he was thrilled to get an invitation to go to a tractor factory nearby and test-drive a brand new tractor.
His excitement was incredible as he told his family and friends. The great day came and he went to the factory for the test-drive. Unfortunately something went terribly wrong with the tractor when Joe was driving it and it flipped over, trapping and breaking Joe’s leg and fracturing his skull.
He was so upset and tried to sue the tractor company for negligence. But the company would have none of it and told there was no liability and He could get lost!
You can imagine he was very annoyed with tractors after this and vowed to shed them from his life completely and forever.
All the posters came down, the toys were given away – tractors were GONE.
Many years later, Joe went into a bar for a drink. Inside, the cigarette and cigar smoke was terrible but through it he saw a beautiful girl seated at the bar on her own. Tears were streaming down her face.
Joe asked her what was wrong and she said that the smoke was making her eyes sting and stream with tears.
With that, Joe looked around and then took a huge breath, sucking in all the smoke. He then walked outside into the car park and blew all the smoke out again. He goes back into the bar where the air is now clear and sweet and sits down next to the girl.
“That was amazing!” she said, “How did you do that?”
“No problem”, said Joe
“I’m an ex-tractor fan”
By: Ozy Mandias on July 6, 2009
at 8:41 pm