Men delay emergency treatment during sports TV. (From http://www.everybody.co.nz)
Is that you?
Why anyone would want to do that is beyond me. I guess you have to be a huge sports fan to understand. I can’t remember the last time I watched a rugby game. I couldn’t even name the captain or coach of the All Blacks anymore. Rugby games, and in fact any sport watching has been pushed down the priority line, in fact so far down that I can’t even see it. The secretary in my brain, has filed it under “if you’re really desperate”. No offence to rugby watching people out there. I used to quite enjoy watching the All Blacks and regional teams play. But that’s how it seems to go sometimes in life. The things that were once considered important suddenly or gradually lose their appeal. Or they don’t really satisfy…
And so there is a search…
for something else to fill that void. Or you have just become so busy with other things that there is never a void needed to be filled. Sometimes, without realising it, all our busyness is a void, in the sense that our busyness amounts to not much on the grand spectrum of utter meaningless versus ultimate fulfillment. We can get so caught up in what we are doing. And it can feel so good, and so right and the buzz we feel inside spurs us on to want more of it again and sooner rather than later cause we are impatient and can’t wait.
Meanwhile…
Other things get put on hold. The things that should matter more, the people we have neglected, the areas in our lives that we have pushed away for so long, filed under “when I can be bothered” in some procrastination box, right at the very back, in some dark dingy corner of our brain. But we just can’t seem to get round to emptying the box and sometimes even fall to see the box for all the post it notes stuck on top. We can tell ourselves: better do such and such today. I must get onto that pressing issue today. Better get it sorted. And we write another note or two to remind ourselves, cause we missed the last note we wrote. But it’s not failing to see the reminder notes that’s the problem, it’s the box we file things in. ‘Procrastination” is not the right box to be filing important things in if we really want to get these things done.
We all know what the impact of “putting things off” has on our lives. We all know we wont be the only ones affected. Others around us will be affected and possible hurt as well. But it is oh so easy to throw realities aside with a: yeah whatever. And what about our own hurt. The hurt deep down that is simmering away, ’cause we procrastinated too long and then it got too late and now there’s nothing we can do about it. And maybe it is not too late if we look for other solutions but we are bitter and resentful and hate ourselves for not taking up the perfect opportunity when we could have, or should have. Maybe we are at the end of our rope and the only way out that we can see is to jump, ’cause we can’t be bothered climbing back up, or we don’t have the energy to climb back up, or we can’t see the point in climbing back up…
Sometimes, procrastination can lead to destruction.
Our hopes and dreams can be dashed by not taking up the opportunities when we have them. We are left feel empty ’cause nothing else is satisfying. And we don’t want more of the same. And other people’s best intentions to offer help and advise just don’t seem to make any difference either. Inside we wish we had gone to the doctor earlier on, when our spouse was nagging at us to do so, or when our nerves were sending signals to our brain to tell us: there is a problem in “sector G7” sir. Or we wish we had worked out our differences before the sun went down, but now he or she is leaving you, and I’m seeing someone else. It’s over between us. It sound’s like an episode from Shortland Street but it not is it? Health problems and marital problems are on the increase. That’s only a couple of issues. I bet there is a procrastination box somewhere overflowing with issues that have been left to fade, while the staples go rusty and the sellotape goes brown and starts to peel off.
It’s a saturday morning. It the weekend, time to relax and put off for today, what can be done next week. No, my friend. Don’t put anything off. Don’t wait till after the rugby game or after you catch your partner getting out of somebody else’s car with a peck on the check and a don’t call me at home. I’ll call you. So you have all morning to lie in bed and let all of life’s problems collect like dust under your bed. We have all done it. Health issues and marital problems are biggies but there are lots of issues that are not big, not yet. The small issues can seem so trivial. We think it’s only the big issues that will weigh us down. But lots of small issues can weigh just as much as one big issue. How can I tell him I’m sorry? How can I find the money to replace what I broke? How can I be trusted again? …
Society doesn’t help anyone these days. We are expected to “harden up” and get on with things lie the story I heard recently of ex All Black John Kerwin, who went to bed one night feeling fine but woke up in a “very dark place”. When he told another rugby player about it, his response to John was to, “harden up”.
Is that what we are being told?
Because it’s not like the systems put in place to help are going to be much good anyway. Lack of funding, and the ambulance at the bottom of the cliff rather than at the top is always to blame. We have been brought up in a culture of playing the blame game after we get too old to play tag. Instead of, “you’re it” it becomes, “you’re to blame”. We don’t want to look deep down and see where we are at fault. We don’t want to take responsibility for our own actions. And in a world were individualism and the rights of each individual and “what’s good for me shall be fine with you” and vice-versa take priority over looking our for each other and living in harmony as a community, it is easy to see how we can get so messed up as individuals and as a society. But that’s not the answer.
There is help out there.
It is up to us to get off our backsides and seek help when we need it. We need to dust off the procrastination box and tip it on to the floor and start sorting through the mess and dealing with things there and then; making appointments and keeping them; talking to people and keeping the lines open for more conversation and healing. But we also need to look out for others with needs. It can’t just be about I, me, myself and whatever is good for me will have to suit you. No. Sometimes we have too take a look in our family member’s and friend’s procrastination boxes and get them “on to it” too. It is all about supporting each other. Being true friends and taking seriously the most important things in life. Don’t put off till tomorrow what you can do today. Nobody ever achieved much by procrastinating.
Something should go here, maybe later. 