Who do you trust?

So Phil wants to ban poreigners from purchasing our pharm land. Phair enough.

But one thing concerns me – does this policy really go phar enough?

Let’s start with South Aucklanders. Lots of crime there. Do we really want them owning our precious pharm land? No.

While we’re at it, why should anyone from Auckland want to purchase countryside? I can’t think of a reason that doesn’t involve chardonay – put them on the list.

Then there’s Wellington. Lots of policians there, that probably rubs off on everyone else so add them to the list.

Hamilton? Palmerston North? Need we ask?

Christchurch. Hm, any city that can organise an earthquake to keep it’s existing mayor can’t be on the up-and-up.

Dunedin’s always voted Labour so don’t trust them.

Frankly, the way that the Southland rugby team suddenly started winning all those games really makes me suspicious. Put them on the list until we work that one out.

Well, that covers about 90% of the population so far. Throw in those dodgy small-town folk (probably most of them are inbread you know) and you’re up to 99%. I don’t think Human Rights legislation will let us discriminate against such a small group, so existing farmers can join the ban list too.

It’s been pointed out that we can’t stop Aussies purchasing our lands under CER or something. So I suggest we just give the lot to them.

Problem solved. Thanks Phil.