There’s been a lot of talk lately that Labour is looking to replace Goff. Let’s face it, Goff has done so well that everyone’s talking about Labour and their chances. So the party would be fools to replace him.
But less well-known is the fact that they’re looking to tap Charlie Sheen for deputy leader. This fact was relayed to me by influential parliamentary sources just after midnight last night.
The advantages are obvious:
- He’s very popular. Were he to get just one vote for every one of his twitter followers, Labour would have close to 100% of the vote.
- He’s got lots of money, and Labour’s been struggling with finances in recent years. How do you think they sorted it out?
- And he’s an unemployed winner, which is a lot like the Labour party since they’re out of government.
- Also, being unemployed at the moment, it should help with the beneficiary vote
- Labour is pretty sure that his appointment will reinforce their social and family policies
My sources tell me that he’s simply going to pretend to be Tizard and see how it goes.
I called Goff’s office to confirm and was told that Brash talked to the Exclusive Brethren and National would take us back to the 1990s if they were elected.
I was thinking how strange that was, when someone on the other end started yelling in the background something about reading the old line, and “how could you miss the one about Brownlee when it’s on the wall in big letters”. Or something.