International Cat Speculators Since 2006


Wonderful idea came to me, that I should write the counterpart to my post of a few days ago.
  1. Make absolutely sure you’re the person in the wrong. For example, if someone calls your for a chat, ring their employer and try and get them fired. Generally try to manouver the target into a situation where they have no choice but sue you.
  2. Post selective clips from the affidavits and other legal papers, be sure to do this in a way that is both peace-meal and confusingly presented so people are less likely to pick up on this. Also, respond to the points you’ve cherry picked with misleading information.
  3. In addition to above, make sure you remove key posts that might contradict the lies you’re telling.
  4. Try to avoid external or original sources. Make lots of claims without any external proof. Be sure to tell everyone what you think, and never provide the original documents so people won’t know whether or not your interpretation is valid. Also, lie a lot, and be sure to tightly control comments so you can’t be corrected. (For laughs, if someone posts information that proves you’re a liar, tell the world you censored their comment because they were a pervert.)
  5. Post immediately. Don’t wait until the courts have had their say. Try to make sure that the courts have no doubt that you have no respect for the process whatsoever. Extra points for being in contempt of multiple courts!
  6. Bonus: whenever the lawyers email you, put up a new post claiming that you are being harassed.
  7. Bonus 2: Double points for doing the above in the middle of a settlement initiated by yourself.

Now, I don’t recommend any of this. But that’s not to say someone won’t try it.

Update: 

Bonus 3: When the judge finds against you, and order no blogging on the judgement, write a post about how you won without even turning up to court and the people (who the Judge agreed were your victims) should quit the legal trade.

This one is extra brilliant, because it opens the door for those you attacked to reply.

Update 2:

Bonus 4(!): When you receive the judgement, read the last page only and leak the entire thing to the media claiming vindication, even though all the other pages make it oh-so-clear what a despicable human being you are.

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