International Cat Speculators Since 2006

Posts tagged ‘The Politically Incorrect Guide to Parenting’

Tonight’s Politically Incorrect Parenting Show

First bit.

  • Kids are like stoned people – do funny things that only stoned adults would do like point out strange things in a loud voice and forget stuff
  • They aren’t really stoned, they’re developing into an adult
  • While a lot of stuff can change, temperament doesn’t – skills will be learned, but will be stubborn at 26 if stubborn at 3
  • Parents must tailor their parenting style to the type of child
  • Had client had child who was shy
  • Had to learn social success  – had to help find way into group in this case as after that the child was fine.
  • Broke down into little kids and worked them out and mum and daughter practiced the steps as often as they could
  • Stubborn children – they just have to do it
  • His son (threatens to name kid next time!) had marker in his room
  • He explained to child they could do what they liked, but they had to think about “what dad would do when he came back”
  • After 10 min child hadn’t drawn on wall – if he’d told him not to he’d have done it


  • If want to get through without going crazy must understand that children’s brains aren’t like ours
  • We’re told children are just little adults but that’s simply not the case
  • Has clip of children at school discussing in adult manner how they mucked around their parents that morning
  • Then there are insufferable parents insist their kids are genius
  • Kid spelled lots of words, made a noise insisted that their child was gifted – parents like this can’t pick up teacher’s body language 🙂 Teachers don’t give a monkey – just want lunch 🙂
  • Children used to be seen and not heard, these days we are told we must include them all the time feel guilty if we don’t find them fascinating all the time
  • Anyone who says they do are lying – cos sometimes it’s really, really boring.
  • Always in a high pitched voice, interrupting important parent thinking
  • They ask a lot of questions – they don’t come fully assembled
  • A lot of work needs done after birth – something like a thousand trillion connections to be made in brain
  • need to reinforce some disconnect others
  • He gets sick of questions and tells kids
  • Porsche R8 and 2m cash could be yours… wait that’s the Big Wednesday draw.


  • Parents are now scared that with all these connections to be made, if kids aren’t developed properly, bad things will happen – i.e. normalness
  • Discusses parents who give kids idiotic names (like Storm) – his name is dumb: Nigel.
  • Can’t say Nigel and have it say cool in front of crims (who he also  works with)
  • Things parents do to try and get a few more points of IQ out of their kids
  • It’s marketing nonsense – but baby Mozart is funny cos of the expression on the baby’s face when they watch it
  • Homework – makes kids hate reading
  • Most arguments start with “come and do your homework”
  • Mimes a parent trying to convince child homework is interesting: “Apparently the weta made it to the top of the leaf”
  • Primary school homework doesn’t make much difference in long term, parents are driving it
  • Worried about all those brain cells not developing, if we get something slightly wrong
  • But when coro st’s on book reading might get shorter…
  • It’s actually not that easy to mess them up, don’t worry about missing a couple of bedtime stories or questions
  • Client kid had lots of questions, parent spent all time answering questions and was completely exhausted
  • Told her not to worry about it, wont’ grow up stupid
  • 3 options: Give dose of own medicine, distract or go outside and play – if doesn’t work tell her to ask dad
  • common sense, sense of humor, and patience

Tonight’s Politically Incorrect Parenting Show

Thought I’d take some notes from the first section for those not watching

  • There’s a school of though that says kids are born perfect – this is bollocks
  • to train children, we have punishment for wrong, and encouragement for right
  • Punishment has disappeared
  • He deliberately got a teacher to cane him in order not to appear gay!
  • This didn’t turn him to a life of crime
  • It hurt, and he decided to be good from then on
  • Nowadays we have the “thinking chair”
  • Little Johnny burns down the school. Injures various staff. Has to sit in thinking chair – can bring blanket, support person, lawyer parents etc. Asked to think about making better choices. Can’t offend self-esteem so can’t call them “bad choices”.
  • Electric execution chair is a graet thinking char!
  • Has a skit showing a modern “telling off” – the child “owns his behaviour” then goes out and repeats anyway

It’s a great show, with fantastic humour and boking the borax at the so called “experts. Sadly, I saw the first one then missed it for several weeks.

In fact, after the first episode I haven’t seen a single promo for it. That coupled with the unexpectedly short ad breaks in the first (I have a 6th sense when it comes to changing the channel back 🙂 ) makes me wonder….

Ok, next bit.

  • Professional clown interviewed – finding children’s behaviour changing since he started years ago
  • Now gets heckled by 5 year olds
  • Only one child needs play up to change everything
  • Children punching and kicking him in the groin in the middle of shows, get up, hit, sit down – no one does anything
  • Children are attracted to poor behaviour
  • Kids have discovered that poor behaviour “pays well”, with increased attention
  • Parents are apparently laughing at poor behaviour (i.e. assault on clown) by their own children.
  • Clown says parents a’re frightened, and ignoring poor behaviour
  • Redirection works brilliantly for little kids. Just tell them that there are lions behind random door in the supermarket, or fairies for girls (or squash faries for boys!). Solves about 90% of bad behaviour problems, will believe anything they’re told. [Really, this is simply interacting with your children and feeding their imiganations – you can also get them to do educational things like not numbers they recognise in the supermarket]
  • Directed attention – use their desire for attention to your advantage
  • Microwave timer useful for kids being too slow. Put on for 2 min, parent counting tends to extend 3..2..1/2 etc. Microwave freaks them out cos they know it’s going to stop.
  • Sticker charts – give leverage, little kids are weird, will swap just about anything for a sticker on a chart.

3rd bit.

  • Timeout – it is a punishment (of course). Kids aren’t sitting down and listing reasons why they shouldn’t set the cat on fire (makes list! 🙂 )
  • They’re bored
  • Forget about “don’t put them there” – just find somewhere they don’t like. Some kids hate being in the corner, some hate their own room.
  • What about staying in timeout? The secret is a bolt on the door! It’s not like a prison cell, those have toilets. No fat blokes who want to be friends either.
  • Fighting over door just creates a conversation and winds people up.
  • The Ladder of Certain Doom!?!
  • Nothing worked for client
  • He remembered being sent to bed early.
  • Kids get home from school 3:30 – 8pm bedtime. creates a chart with 15 min slots
  • Kids start each day at top, get marked down on timer for each offense
  • Don’t ask twice
  • Have jobs they can do to earn back time – brilliant as gets stuff done
  • While naughty house will get sorted, but then they twig and no free work
  • Suggests something that I’m not going to blog!
  • They can decide whether to do jobs or not – it becomes their problem
  • Case: Child protested loudly at school and swore at teachers
  • John was simply being a snot
  • Told parents to go to war
  • Teachers told to ring home and parents took home if misbehaved
  • Put child in empty room, rewarded with items being put back
  • Took about 2 times to realise that he wasn’t going to win and reformed himself
  • Setup consequences, make the bad behaviour the child’s problem

Update: Had the name of the show wrong – title updated.

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